Kirby: Good morning, readers -- Has the caffeine kicked in? Or should I just...
Morning rituals. Most humans have them; those things we do to start a day we expect to be relatively normal. They say a lot about the kind of people we are. Since most of us perform some kind of labor...
View ArticleKirby's Disturbing History: Murder on the Salt Lake Express and other bloody...
Editor’s note • Every Saturday, Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Kirby digs into the state’s past to enlighten or, at least, entertain Utahns in the present. Have a story to share? Visit...
View ArticleKirby: News anchor Shauna Lake’s DUI arrest raises question for public: Have...
KUTV news anchor Shauna Lake is my friend and one of the most genuine and considerate people I know. So it broke my heart when she was arrested for suspicion of DUI early Wednesday morning. I first...
View ArticleKirby: My post-Scouting program for Mormon boys? Hint: It includes fire
I possibly received an emergency call from LDS Church headquarters last week, asking for my help developing an outdoors program for older male Mormon youths. Don’t believe me? OK, here’s a transcript...
View ArticleKirby: Regrets? Sorry to say it, but if you’re human, you have ’em
There’s probably not a person alive who doesn’t have regrets about his or her past. Is there anything you would like to go back and change? OK, some of you are liars. You wouldn’t be human if there...
View ArticleKirby: Paper route taught me the Old Man could really sling some whoppers
I had a paper route when I was 11 years old. Every evening, I delivered the Idaho Statesman to approximately 50 homes in south Boise. I hated it. Mean dogs, rude customers, bad weather and general...
View ArticleKirby: From Build-A-Bear to Build a Baby? The world of birth rights and...
One Sunday, right after my wife and I married, I sat through a Mormon priesthood lesson as the instructor decried the use of birth control. He testified that preventing pregnancy was of the devil. I...
View ArticleKirby: A birthday present for me? Chaffetz’s seat in Congress? Ah, you...
I just realized that Utah Congressman Jason Chaffetz will resign at the end of next month. Yes, I know it’s been in the news for some time now. I haven’t been paying attention. Lots of people don’t...
View ArticleKirby: It’s moving day — if only I could carry just the pillows
As a military brat, I grew accustomed to abruptly picking up and moving to some faraway place from whence we never returned. Along the way, I lost friendships, girlfriends, connections and memories....
View ArticleKirby: Home teaching — Mormonism’s answer to Mister Rogers
Last Saturday, I dragged a shovel over to the home of a single mother and helped move 10 yards of topsoil to various parts of her yard. I almost died. Half a dozen guys were already shoveling when I...
View ArticleKirby: It’s my birthday and I’ll reminisce if I want to
Today is my birthday. I’m 64 years old. I didn’t expect to live this long. By all rights — and lots of wrong choices — I should be dead by now. It would still be my birthday even if I were dead. Most...
View ArticleKirby: Let God fix climate change? Sure — one giant flood, coming up
Ever worry about climate change? I don’t. I figure I’ll be dead long before Wendover becomes a beach town. It’s selfish, I know. But I’m trying to be honest. This doesn’t mean I don’t believe in...
View ArticleKirby: Welcome to the Church of the Holy Fist, where the sin is beaten out...
The only time I ever got knocked around in church was by my father. He had zero tolerance for irreverence. He knew it was a sign of the demon lurking in me. If I intentionally dribbled sacrament water...
View ArticleKirby: Hold your horses — there’s a better way to herd wayward cows: drones
Tavaputs Ranch • Thanks to an emergency last week, Sonny and I may have developed a new way to herd cows. We’ll happily accept any awards later. Right now, we’re too sore to move. The Tavaputs herd...
View ArticleKirby: Confessions of a white, male Mormon’s battles with his inner racist
The first time I ever felt discriminated against because of the color of my skin was in high school. I had a crush on a girl of another race. A serious crush, like she was all I could think about....
View ArticleKirby: Why can’t old prophets’ minds, bodies slip a bit? Hell, they’re only...
Although I’m Mormon, it doesn’t trouble me that President Thomas S. Monson, the prophet of the LDS Church, is too frail to go to the office. Hell, he’s 89. Doesn’t bother me even if an aging religious...
View ArticleKirby: Ranch work is child’s play for these cowboy preschoolers
Tavaputs Ranch • Last week, I worked with the seventh generation of Wilcox/Jensen cowboys. Although I’m older by at least three of those generations, they already out-cowboy me. It’s in their blood....
View ArticleKirby: The stupidest — and most inescapable — vacation idea I ever heard
My wife decided we could afford a long vacation this year. I was suspicious at first. We don’t always (make that rarely) have the same idea of what constitutes rest and relaxation. It isn’t really a...
View ArticleKirby: I thought I’d messed up by becoming a dad. I was wrong — mostly.
One day in late 1975, my wife announced, “Guess what?” I don’t recall how many wrong guesses it took before she got fed up and just told me that she was pregnant. Talk about a salient moment. I should...
View ArticleKirby: Before getting that snake tattoo or lip piercing, ask yourself why...
Last week at a barbecue, an acquaintance asked those present if we thought he should get his arm “sleeved.” Opinions varied. Three said yes, two said no, one (me) proffered indifference, and one...
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