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Kirby: There's nothing left of the cool me except embarrassing pictures

This is me in 1989. I was the editor of a Utah County weekly and sporting what wasn’t quite a mullet. I look like a dork, or at least a younger version of the goof that I am today. There are worse...

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Kirby's Disturbing History: There's nothing more exciting than ice-skating to...

Editor’s note • Every Saturday, Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Kirby pulls out long-forgotten pieces o f history to give readers a glimpse of life, crime and misadventure in Utah that week in...

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Kirby: I may be bad, but at least I'm not THAT bad

I’m feeling really good about myself right now despite the fact that I’ve done a lot of bad things in my life. Some I did by mistake, some entirely on purpose, and the rest with complete idiocy...

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Kirby: If I had a Twitter, I'd use it to send Donald Trump one message

You know what I want in a president? I want someone who is so busy running the country that he or she doesn’t have time to tweet about movie stars talking trash. Apparently — and I say this because I...

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Kirby's Disturbing History: A bald burglar and a mysterious blast

Editor’s note • Every Saturday, Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Kirby pulls out long-forgotten pieces of history to give readers a glimpse of life, crime and misadventure in Utah that week in 1916,...

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Kirby: Wait'll you see how much the Mormon church pays me

Despite the fact that I have in ways large, small, and painful, worked for the LDS Church my entire life, I’ve never received a penny from it. Not even a coupon. Note: This includes the time I had to...

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Kirby: Once I understood Martin Luther King Jr., I understood what America...

My earliest memories of Martin Luther King Jr. are of dogs, firehoses, police and the KKK shouting idiotically about some imminent threat to America. Since I was at least smart enough back then to...

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Kirby's Disturbing History: This town don't welcome fortunetellers

Editor’s note • Every Saturday, Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Kirby pulls out long-forgotten pieces of history to give readers a glimpse of life, crime and misadventure in Utah that week in 1917,...

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Kirby: Making fun of you isn't the same as making fun of God

Years ago, I was asked to serve as a volunteer at an LDS family history center in Utah County. Every Tuesday night it was my job to help people search for their ancestors and prepare the names for...

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Kirby: Screw elections -- our next president should be a woman

Now that President Donald Trump has officially taken office — in a move many believe to be the worst moment in the entire history of the universe — it’s time to examine the process that brought...

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Kirby's Disturbing History: Brawling over kittens

Editor’s note • Every Saturday, Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Kirby pulls out long-forgotten pieces of history to give readers a glimpse of life, crime and misadventure in Utah that week in 1917,...

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Kirby: My bark is less effective than Jesus' bite

I’m coming up on my third year serving in the nursery of my LDS ward (Pioneer 6th). After all this time, I’m not sure if I was called into the nursery or simply placed there in order to give adults a...

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Kirby: I've solved America's immigration problem

I have a letter from the White House on my desk. At least I think it is. I might have it confused with a piece of junk mail. That’s close enough. Anyway, the point is that President Donald Trump seems...

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Kirby's Disturbing History: Death and destruction -- but the cat is OK

Editor’s note • Every Saturday, Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Kirby pulls out long-forgotten pieces of history to give readers a glimpse of life, crime and misadventure in Utah that week in 1917,...

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Kirby: The church dance floor is the devil's playground

When I was a teenager, we routinely had dances after “Mutual,” which is what Mormons back then called the weekly youth gathering every Tuesday evening. Mutual was a high-priority event. In the...

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Kirby: Love should trump Trump feud

When I got married (shortly after the Louisiana Purchase), the possibility that I might one day get divorced never even occurred to me. Perhaps I wasn’t thinking hard enough. That’s always been a...

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Kirby's Disturbing History: Utah sees its first drive-by shooting

Editor’s note • Every Saturday, Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Kirby pulls out long-forgotten pieces of history to give readers a glimpse of life, crime and misadventure in Utah that week in 1917,...

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Kirby: A decade after Trolley Square shooting, it's what happens now that...

I’ve seen a lot of terrible stuff in my life, things I’ll never be able to un-see for the simple reason that they insist on periodically revisiting me while I’m asleep. Decomposed bodies, suicides,...

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Kirby: This column is my protest

One of the reasons I like writing — especially when it comes to hotly debated issues — is that only one person gets to “talk” at a time. Expressing something in writing is not like participating in...

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Kirby's Disturbing History: A waitress gets spanked with a meat cleaver

Editor’s note • Every Saturday, Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Kirby pulls out long-forgotten pieces of history to give readers a glimpse of life, crime and misadventure in Utah that week in 1917,...

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