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Kirby: Love hurts, especially when you're married to me

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I’ve never hurt my wife on purpose. There are too many reasons not to, the first being that I love her. Yeah, even when I’m so mad at her that it feels like my head will implode. Note: You should worry about that. My head contains so much vacuum that if it imploded, it would probably drag most of the Salt Lake Valley into it. And it’s the last place you want to be. I didn’t hit her, although I do and have hit women who assaulted me. As a cop, I punched a basement monster right out of her slippe...

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